A Societal Taboo?? Excuse me??

Ok- here is it. Aj and I no longer drink alcohol. We haven't for a while now. Aj decided at the end of March that he was giving up alcohol completely for a multitude of reasons, and I decided to follow his lead. We aren't against people who do drink and it doesn't bother us to be around people drinking. We just choose not to any longer. We have both had our fair share of consumption in the past and we're good. It's really not a big deal. At least, I didn't think it would be. But everyone else seems to have this giant issue with it. I really don't understand it.

We have been around family members that tried to insist Aj drink. At one point, putting a beer in his hand and having other family members cheer for it. (Aj didn't drink it.) This wasn't at a bar, but just at a family gathering. We have since then, had friends that have insisted that he can't be from Texas and not drink, or be a real man and not drink. Let me assure you, Aj is not shy. He isn't one of those people who needs a few drinks to loosen up. So people weren't trying to get him to drink in order for him to come out of his shell. He is the life of the party with or without alcohol. So, this constant nagging and pushing is not just annoying and frustrating.. It's also confusing! What in the world is such a big deal?

I have received a different type of response. When I have explained to people that I don't drink, instead of individuals trying to push it on me, the majority of the time, they find it necessary to tell me why it is that they do drink. As if they are defending themselves. Also they find the need to always explain to me that they "aren't big drinkers". I then have to explain to them that, no, I don't mind that they drink and it doesn't bother me. (This said, Aj and I aren't going to have alcohol in our apartment, but that's for a different reason, not because we are against others drinking). On the other hand, recently I told an individual that I would love to come to her house gathering. As we talked about it, she started telling me about the many alcoholic drinks she would be making, I just let her know I didn't drink. She looked at me and said, "Well, you're no fun." Mind you, this was after we had been laughing our rear ends off the entirety of book club, no alcohol required. I told her I would still love to come, and she just said, "Cool." 

(This is also an interesting look at how people treat men and women differently when they decide not to drink. With Aj being treated like a freak and less of a man because he won't drink and I mainly being treated like a "prissy" and uptight woman who people are scared to offend. Also, it's frustrating how people assume that I am being the controlling wife and forcing Aj not to drink. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. Aj is a remarkable man, and he made the decision on his own. I am following his amazing example, and not the other way around.)

Now, I can't say this has been everyone's response. Some people have treated it the same way that we feel about it. No big deal. They offer Aj and/or I alcohol, we say we don't drink, and they say, "Ok, we have soda too.." and that's the only time it's even brought up. No big deal. Frustratingly, this has become the exception and not the rule.

So let me ask all of you, because I know that we have friends and family, who not only were there when different parts of this post occurred, but also because there is such a broad spectrum of individuals who follow along with Aj and I. Some of you don't drink at all and never have, others are still full fledged proud drinkers, and others are occasional drinkers. Different backgrounds and different places in your lives. Explain this to us please. What in the world is the big deal about a couple that decides not to drink alcohol anymore? Why is it a social taboo to say, "No thanks, I don't drink?"