For those of you who are regulars, you probably know that AJ & I aren't drinkers. It's not a religious or even a moral thing, it's because AJ had a lot of problems because of alcohol. One of which nearly cost him his life. He woke up in intensive care after being beaten almost to death after another night of drinking. He was told that if he would have taken just two more blows to the head, he would never have woken up. It was still 2 years after that incident that he finally decided enough was enough, and he quit cold turkey. He hasn't drank in over a year and a half. I don't drink to support him. I've never needed alcohol to have a good time and never really drank much anyway, so quitting wasn't a big deal for me. I have to say, our lives changed completely.
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| * Source |
At first it was pretty hard. We used to hang out with friends at clubs or bars, or go over to friend's houses for parties and such regularly. To avoid temptation, we didn't want to be in environments where drinking was the main form of socialization. This completely changed the people that hung out with us, or would even invite us over. It seemed that, unless there was alcohol, people didn't know how or want to know how, to hang out. Also, a lot of these same people would constantly try and talk AJ into drinking. Give him reasons and call him names. Question his man hood or treat him like a snob. We eventually weeded out our real friends from friends that were only bonded by the bottle and AJ relearned how to do things like fishing, playing X-Box, watch football, or just hang out with friends without alcohol being involved. (When an alcoholic quits drinking, it's the same as a smoker getting used to their morning coffee without a cigarette. All of these things trigger a desire to drink or a need to drink. You have to learn to do these things and not need alcohol).
The most frustrating part for me was that everyone assumed that I had forced AJ to quit drinking. That I was the reason that he had stopped. Because I wouldn't allow him to. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I never, not once, told AJ to quit drinking. AJ quit drinking because he didn't want the life that it gave him, he didn't want to live that way. And yes, he says that my coming into his life was a big part of that, but only because he wanted a happy family and didn't want his kids to be raised with him drinking. It bothered the crap out of me because I am sooooo ridiculously PROUD of him, and I feel like saying he is only doing it because of me takes away how phenomenal it is that he quit. He's doing it, not me.
The reason that I bring this up, is that it's holiday season and as such, holiday party time. These parties are almost always accompanied by lots of drinking and alcohol. For example, AJ & I love Halloween and even dressed up this year, but we didn't go anywhere because the only "adult" Halloween parties around were big booze fests. Now please understand that AJ & I have nothing whatsoever against drinking. We think it's great that people can get together and socialize and have a few drinks. No problem. We just can't. Think of it as a major food allergy. Just one drink can have horrible consequences. AJ just happens to be addicted to the particular food group he is drastically allergic to, so we stay away from it.
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| via Glamour.com |
In my current issue of Glamour there is a great article called, "20 Things You Notice When Your Not Drinking." The article isn't available online, but AJ & I read it together and found it pretty funny and accurate based on our experiences.
This prompted me to ask your opinion. Have you ever been the one not blitzed at the party? If so, do you notice anything different? What is your take on drinking and the holidays? Or just drinking at all? What if you had friends that didn't drink, would you hesitate to hang out with them as much?
Feel free to be totally honest, I promise no feelings will be hurt or judgments made. I'm curious of others feelings on the topic.
Now that AJ & I have been away from it for so long, we don't really see the draw to it anymore. Course maybe we are just old fuddy duddys now, or maybe its because our experiences ended negatively too many times.
Either way, I hope you have fun plans for this holiday season, whether you decide to celebrate with a holiday cocktail or sparkling cider! Tis the Season!
