I hate that phrase. I absolutely hate it.
I understand that I probably have quite a few surprises in store for me when AJ & I finally do put a car seat in and have a crib in the apartment. I get it.
But...
It does not mean that I will not fold my clothes in a very neat and specific way - once I have children.
It does not mean that I will be angry at a coach for being stern with his players - once I have children.
It does not mean that I will let my house be disgustingly trashed- once I have children.
It does not mean that I will stop taking care of my body or mind- once I have children.
It does not mean that I will be in a forever bad mood- once I have children.
It does not mean that I will agree or disagree with whatever form or non-form of disciplinary action you instigate- once I have children.
It does not mean that I will constantly argue with my spouse- once I have children.
It does not mean I will become less patient, less understanding, or less caring- once I have children.
It does not mean I will rely on fast food or take out every night- once I have children.
It does not mean that I understand less, you understand more, or anything else.
I understand I have a lot to learn when I become a parent. I truly do. What that does not mean, is that I am inevitably going to agree with what you do or how you do it.
My mother raised 3 kids, has always had a full time job, and kept our house neat and tidy. She also is the one that taught me how to fold clothes in a specific and neat way because she insisted it be done this way. As a family, we went to McDonald's every other Friday (Payday Friday!) and the rest of the time my mother cooked dinner- every night. Both of my parents were strict with us as children and we were not allowed to throw tantrums or fits to get what we wanted.
Not that my parents were perfect, but that is how I was raised. Were you raised differently? Do you raise your children differently? Maybe this means just because people have children does not automatically mean they are going to do things or believe things the same way.
So please, do not use this as an argument or as a way to settle a discussion. If I do things differently or feel a certain way contrary to yourself, I will not automatically switch to your ways because I have children. I do not know where my priorities will change or how I will end up adapting, and neither do you.
The next time you see me folding clothes neatly, finding a very frustrated soccer coach amusing, or discuss how I don't like going out to eat much (among many, many, many other things), do not utter the phrase to me:
Just wait until you have children...
It is not an instant argument winner or mind changer.
Just let me have my feelings and ways of doing things. If you don't agree, just chalk it up to us being different people and not because I don't currently have a mini-me.
Thank-you.
