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| AJ with our friends baby. |
I found out something rather interesting about my husband on Saturday night. Something I think he was slyly and purposefully keeping from me. He has not ever watched or babysat kids on his own before (not including his little brothers when they were growing up). This means, that as an adult, AJ has never, not once, told a child no when they wanted something before.
Saturday night, a single soldier friend of ours had his first date in a long time. He happens to live in the same apartment complex as AJ & I, so we happily agreed to watch his two girls ages 7 and 9. He dropped them off at 7 pm and said that he was taking her to see Paranormal Activity 3. I thought to myself, "So he'll be by to pick them up around 11ish.."
Ah yes, but my dear clueless husband went out for a smoke with him before he left and told this single dad (SD) of two, "Don't worry if it's really late and they fall asleep, I'll send you a text and they can just stay here the night." This little tid-bit of information was something he failed to mention to me after he came back inside. If he had, I may have mentioned that we don't have milk or cereal, I may have mentioned that the girls were never told their dad wasn't coming back and so were unprepared to fall asleep at a strangers house (they have only been over once or twice for a few minutes with their dad), or I may have cautioned him about homesickness that kids that age can get. I also may have let him know that if we offered his kids to stay the night, that SD would be sure to let them, whether they were asleep at the end of his date or not. I may have been able to tell him all of these things, but I couldn't because I simply had no idea.
By 8 o'clock we had put in a kids movie (I have plenty) and set up to play a game of Jenga.. This is when I first had an incling the AJ had no idea what he was doing. AJ went into the kitchen and came out with two full-to-the-brim glasses of ice cold Koolaide for the girls to drink. Pure liquid sugar. Needless to say, 1 game of Jenga, one game of Life, 2 movies and 3 hours later there was no dad in sight and no sign of these girls even batting an eye to go to bed.
At this point, I was very tired and ready for bed myself. This was also when AJ remembered to tell me that he had told SD that the girls could stay the night if they were asleep when his date was over. I was a little upset at not being asked or told this information. AJ explained he expected SD at any moment since he had never texted to say the girls were sleeping. I rolled my eyes, stood up, and told him he could finish the movie with the girls, I was going to bed.
I woke up at a little after 1 am and rolled over, no AJ. So I got up and went to the living room. There was AJ, looking desperately tired as he began yet ANOTHER movie. There on the loveseat, was a bouncing, talking 7 year old girl, happy as a clam. I walked over and said, "No ma'am. It's time to go to bed. It's past 1 o'clock and we aren't watching any more movies. Lay down and curl up, it's time for sleep." I turned off the tv and movie and looked at AJ, who looked at the very sad looking 7 year old. She looked right back and started crying. AJ shot me a glare like I was the meanest woman in the whole world when... "I want my daddy!"
AJ immediately jumped up, got his cell phone, and called our SD (who was home by the way, his date had to work at 6:30 the next morning). The 7 year old cried tearfully to her dad about how she wanted to go home. I went back to bed. Furious at our SD and at my husband.
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| My nephew Jed & I. |
Later, when AJ came to bed he told me he thought I was being mean to the little girl. I sat up and said, "AJ, when you are watching kids, your job is not to be their best friend or to entertain them all night. It is to be the adult and take care of them, and make the decisions they can't make themselves. What 7 year old wouldn't stay up all night watching movies, chatting happily with a willing adult? You have to say no. Of course she was going to cry and get upset, she wasn't getting her way anymore and she was exhausted!"
AJ thought about that for a moment and said, "I didn't even think about that. I was just thinking we were going to have fun and play some games, that they would fall asleep to the first movie, and then I could wake up early and make them breakfast and watch cartoons." He then admitted to me that he had never actually had to be the adult before. He had never had to say no or tell them what to do or not to do something. He had never had to correct bad behavior and deal with crying or yelling from an unappreciative child.
We talked for a while longer about having to be an adult to kids and them not knowing what is best. He hadn't even really thought about this type of thing before. It was a good learning experience for him, but I think he needs many more. Good thing when we get back to Idaho, I have niece and nephew who are primed and ready to give AJ some of the training he needs. This last Saturday was definitely a wake-up call for us both!
When was your wake up call with kids? Have you had one yet? Do you have a significant other that needs or needed a wake up call? I have been watching kids for so long that I can't remember when I first experienced mine. I do remember my most challenging cases, but I don't remember ever being surprised or phased by them. Kids throwing fits because they don't want what is best never bothered me, as far as I remember anyway. My poor husband though.. Oh dear... Is he really in for it...
