Thanksgiving in Texas and "Southwest Asia"

It's official. Aj and I just spent what should be our last Thanksgiving without one another. Woot woot!! I was able to travel to Dallas and spend a few days with Aj's side of the family and Aj, well, he got to spend Thanksgiving on a 24 hour shift in the sand. Thanksgiving is Aj's favorite holiday. Football, food, and family all together in one giant celebration, it's like Heaven on Earth for him once a year. So it was pretty hard to not have him here. But there were still many wonderful things that came out of the weekend.

Aj sporting his shades in Southwest Asia.

First off, the Army had set it up so the soldiers could call home more easily and for longer periods of time on Thanksgiving. This meant that while I was at Aj's Mimi's house for Thanksgiving, he was able to not only talk with me, but also his 3 brothers, his father, his cousins, and his grandparents. This was a real Thanksgiving treat for all of them and I know put a huge smile on his and their faces. He was also able to talk with me for a very long period of time, and that doesn't get to happen all that often, so I was thrilled.
Second, Aj did have to work 24 hours that day, but he also received the Thanksgiving Day package that I sent. I was so happy that it got to him and had been worried that he wouldn't get it in time. I assure you that it was packed full of goodies and he was able to get his snack on. He was also able to get a little bit of turkey from one of the military dining facilities, which was "ok" he said.
For me, it was a much needed get away. I had not been able to visit Texas since Aj left for a variety of reasons and was happy to get to see everyone again. I was also able to see a lot of family members who I'd heard a lot about but never actually met.
It was a special treat because I was able to not only see Aj's dad's side of the family but also Friday I met up with Aj's mother, his Nanny, and his Aunt Sabrina. I had only met his Aunt Sabrina one time in November of last year and his Nanny lives a couple hours away in Tyler so we don't get to see her as often either. We all sat around a table, drinking coffee and laughing for a few hours which was wonderful.

Nanny and I at Sabrina's.

Finally, it was the first time I had been around Aj's family without him there and I'll admit, I was slightly apprehensive but it was a great time. I was treated like one of the family with or without him there. I was able to see "my" three brothers and talk with them, chat with Mimi and Grandpa while watching the football game (and yes, I even yelled and screamed at the tv plenty that day), get giant hugs from Becca (momma Kelly) and Ben, and laugh a good while with Nanny and Sabrina. (Extra special treat when Nanny looked at me and told me I looked good but if I lost any more weight I would be too skinny.. There's a first for everything!!) My major pitfall though was a complete lack of picture taking. Becca was sweet enough to send to me the pictures she took while we were at Sabrina's house, and I am in the process of scrounging up some more pictures from the weekend from others, but I failed miserably at taking even a single picture. So here is hoping that there are more to come.

Aunt Sabrina, myself, Nanny and Ma Becca.

And just to make sure I include everyone, Blitz had a fabulous time as well. He played football with everyone (yes, he really does play football), was given the bones from the turkey, played with his doggie cousins at Sabrina's and went on an extra long car ride. He does get rather confused whenever we go to Mimi's for the first while because he isn't allowed inside, and it was his first really cold night outdoors. He was covered in blankets for a while and looked rather ridiculous, but once again, I neglected to take what would have been some priceless pictures. 
Tomorrow is December 1st everyone. Seriously. December. How fetching exciting is that? Aj will be home for RR 6 weeks from Saturday. That just means that I only have 6 Saturdays left to practice my 2011 Madden. I can't wait. I truly can't wait. We are so close.
We love you all so much. I can't say how much your support means to us. Deployments suck worse than fat camp but it makes it so much easier knowing we have friends and family there to sneak us a piece of cake every once in a while.

Top Things Not to Say to a Wife of a Deployed Soldier

I found this article today, and I loved it. I thought I would post it on our blog. Thanksgiving is this week. Aj's favorite holiday. The past week has been the most difficult so far. And RR is so close, but so far away. We've got this though. :)

From “Notes from Iraq with Capt. Richard Connaroe”:

Occasionally, Soldiers are complimented for their service.  While recognition never fails to bring a smile, there is a group of much stronger, much more deserving individuals:  Army Wives or military spouses.
The hardships that a military spouse endures are hard to imagine even to Soldiers.  To sacrifice a year or more apart from their husband or wife, often cases the father or mother of their children, and take on all household responsibilities is a thankless task.
Occupied with executing combat missions and reacting on muscle memory, Soldiers reflect on what he or she is missing back home only during downtime.  Although the spouse carries on, her life is never as busy that she forgets her husband.  And in this sense, her job is tougher than her Soldier’s.
Army Wives are left with the responsibility of maintaining a home, a yard, a career, children, cars, pets, and every task that their Soldier used to handle.  On top of that, the military spouse must worry that her Soldier is in danger and have faith that God will provide.
Those not in the military atmosphere try to offer support and empathy.  Often times, these well-intended attempts are not well thought out.  The following is a collection of such thoughts that are intended with consideration but come across as inconsiderate or oblivious at best.
My Army Wife, Devon Connaroe, compiled this “Top Things Not To Say To The Spouse of a Deployed Soldier” from fellow Soldiers’ wives.  The following list of lines from family and friends are memorable, because they are particularly discomforting.  In fact, they drive her into a world if isolation, believing that no one understands.
Five Army Wives, whom my wife has befriended during our last five years in the military, contributed to the list:  Robyn Mroszczyk, Melissa Salmon, Sheena Jorgensen, Erin Wackerhagen and Rasheedah Stewart.  Many of these sayings were not exclusive to one individual, but heard by multiple women.
Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:
“I know how you feel.  My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.”  Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.
“I know how you feel, I was a single mom.”
The wife does stay alone and care for things, but a single mom does not have to worry about a husband being in danger.
“I understand what you are going through, I watch the show Army Wives.”
The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.
People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”
Hearing this is not a compliment.  The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.
Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.
“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”
Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.
If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.”  OR
If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”
Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.
Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers.  Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?
“Do you miss him?”
“Are you excited he is coming home?”
“Are you scared he will die?”
On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.
Others carelessly encourage, “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”
Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays.  They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family.  Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.
Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:
“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”
“You knew that he would be deployed.”
Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military.  No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.
At times, some people end conversations by saying, “If you ever need anyone to help you with something around the house, give me call,” without leaving a phone number.
Typically, a wife is not going to reach out for help, especially when the offer is half-hearted.
Finally, some people just do not think before they talk.
“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”
Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.
Throughout a deployment, the spouse of a Soldier endures a great sacrifice.  A script on how to converse with the spouse of a deployed Soldier does not exist.  The right things to say are not lines stored on a pocket-sized notebook, which can be pulled out in the necessary moment. Upon meeting an Army Wife, you should not feel as though it is necessary to try to relate to her.  Although you may feel it is socially necessary to comment on the Soldier’s absence, there is really no need to do so at all.
Support, encouragement and graciousness are appreciated.  However, there is a key to interacting with the spouse:  sincerity.
Be yourself.  Be genuine.  If you don’t know what to say, silence is acceptable.
If you pray, comfort the spouse by sending your prayers to the soldier and his family.
If you are grateful for the sacrifice, thank the husband or wife for what they are doing for your freedom.
If you want to help, be specific in what you are willing to offer, such as mowing the lawn.  Empty offers are typically all encompassing.  If you aren’t willing to rake leaves or bathe the dog, don’t say, “If you ever need anything, let me know.”
Be a friend.  Show the spouse that you care about who she is, without defining her by the deployment.
In the end, it is the honesty and sincerity that means the most.

Christmas Plans...

 We are getting close to December 25th and I couldn't be more excited. Not because December 25th is "Christmas", but because it means that this year is almost over and Aj is soon coming home. I have been getting questions from a lot of you wondering what to do when it comes to sending Aj Christmas stuff; cards, cookies, presents, etc., so I thought I would let you know our Christmas plans. Aj and I have decided to wait and celebrate Christmas together when he gets home on RR. We are going to open presents, watch a couple Christmas movies (That's my idea, not his. hehe) and have a Christmas dinner after he gets home a little more than 2 weeks after the "official" Christmas day. So when it comes to gifts, Christmas cards, etc. that I receive in the mail or from individuals, to either of us, they are going to remain unopened until Aj is here to open them with me.
If you are thinking of sending Aj a Christmas "something" and would like to send it to him down where he is at, you are of course, more than welcome. If you would rather send it to our home here in Oklahoma and he can open it while we celebrate our Christmas together, that would be wonderful too. I have already received a couple of things for him. If you are in need of his mailing address over there, or our address here in Oklahoma, please let me know and I will send it to you.
As far as what Aj and I will be doing on that actual day, neither of us know our schedule yet. There is a possibility he could be on a 24 hour shift that day or he could have the day off. The military doesn't distinguish between holidays, weekends, or weekdays when soldiers are on deployment. Which makes sense really but still is less than fun.
Blitz and I don't have firm plans for anything, mainly because we may at any time have to pack up and drive to Idaho, so we are just taking plans one day at a time for now. We have had a few invites that we would really like to make.
So, just a little fyi post for all of those who have been wondering. what's going on with the holidays at the Kelly household. Tis the season! Thank you and we love you all!!

((Pictures on this post are a couple I had of my apartment in Heilsbronn, Germany from Christmas 2007. The winter Aj and I were first together.))

For all you cat haters out there...

If you think that cats are useless and don't really care about their owners... watch 'em and weep... this cat protects the children against two alligators... what a badass...

Kitty Fights Off Gators for Kids

Strength.

Monday morning, at 4:45, I woke up to my alarm clock. My first thought, "Oh dear Lord it's early." My second thought, "God bless the individual who invented the programmable coffee machine." I rolled out of bed, put on my workout clothes, filled my travel mug to the brim and walked out the door. That morning, I had my first ever one on one session as a personal trainer. I met with a young woman who has struggled with weight for her entire life. Her story is like one you would see on Biggest Loser. Her mother died of congestive heart failure, a condition caused by her lifelong obesity. My trainee had even dropped out of high school at 14 to take care of her mother and family at the point her mother became bed ridden. At 22 years old, she is 5'6 and weighs close to 250 lbs. She has decided she wants to take her life back and keep it. Can you say wow? Can you say inspiring? Could I have possibly been given a more remarkable person to train with at the beginning of my journey as a trainer?

We are currently training every morning from 5-7. Our first hour of training is like a one on one class regarding health and fitness. Nutrition, calories, fitness, and maintaining a lifestyle. I take the term personal trainer very seriously. In that it should be personal and I should be training. My goal is for whoever I am working with, to not only become healthy and fit while I am working with them, but I want them to learn to not need me anymore. I want to one day become useless to them because they have the knowledge, strength, and confidence in themselves to continue that healthy lifestyle and attitude without me, for the rest of their lives. I am training them, one on one, to do it themselves.
 The second hour is where its time to sweat. I was not easy on her during our first session but she did everything I asked her to do. At one point, after completing the final set of an exercise she did not think she would be able to do, she teared up. Proud of herself and the realization of how powerful she is. I could not have imagined a better way to start my career. If I had any doubts at all that this is what I want to do as a career, they were completely dispelled by the look of pride on her face.

This morning, I took her on her first jog outdoors. The look on her face when I told her we were going to go outside was fear and panic. She told me she hated working out outside, that she looked so stupid, etc. I handed her a beanie I had brought for her to wear, smiled and said, "Lets go." We went a mile. When we got back to the fitness room, out of breath she said, "Wow, my first ever jog outside." She had been so self conscious, she had actually never even tried to jog outdoors. It was a beautifully clear morning and once again, a look of pride was on her face. This woman is amazing. Not once has she given up. Everything I have asked her to do, she does. (Although one time she gave me such a glaring look I thought she was going to toss that medicine ball at my  head... hehehe).
She has barely begun this journey, and I know its only been 3 days but damn, is she astonishing. And I can't wait to see her growth. I am seriously so excited by all of this. We are both starting a whole new journey together.
My husband yesterday told me he was proud of me. He has been the biggest support imaginable for me and to hear him say that, meant so much. I can't wait until he is home. Sometimes it feels like this will never end. But the idea that I am making him proud is such a tremendous feeling and gives me the strength to keep going. Less then two months now, and he will be home. Finally home, even if for just a short while. I can't wait.

Sometimes life is hard. Deployments themselves are hard and then a lot has happened that has been rough since he left. Each of our families have gone through a lot of ups and downs, drama, hurt and shock. We have had to deal with military situations, friends that have turned out not to be, and even a break in at our home. But our relationship is so strong, and my husband is so remarkably supportive and level headed, that despite it all, Aj and I are doing amazing. Not just relationship wise, but in our life together and we are both so incredibly happy it's almost unbelievable.
Stength. Life keeps showing me over and over again, not only through my own situations, but through amazing people like the young woman I am working with now, that we are so much stronger then we believe that we are. And, if we surround ourselves by the right people, there is truly nothing we can't make it through.
I am truly blessed to have the people in my life that I have. Thank-you for being there and showing me what strength really is, in all aspects of life.


((I do think I should note, I have not received my official certification yet. I am not charging this young woman. She is helping me by being my first "guinea pig" as I learn and develop to become certified. I'm not charging her anything, and she knows that I have yet to receive the "piece of paper" to put on my wall. She is putting a profound amount of trust in me and I appreciate so much her willingness to be my "first" trainee as I learn and grow.))

With all my heart...

Veterans Day- A day that people say thank-you to "their veterans" and appreciate them. My life is Veterans Day. It's not just a single day, it's a way of life. My husband is gone. I haven't seen him in over 5 months and I will not see him again for more than 2 more, only to have him leave again for a few months more. Aj is in a land of sandstorms and heat. He currently doesn't have a single article of "civilian" clothing with him. He works 24 hour days and has no privacy when he gets home and yet, when he calls me, he is the one comforting me. He is the one saying, "We are almost there baby." "This isn't anything." "We've got this." Even in the terrible conditions and frustrating environment he is in, he is still more concerned about me back home than himself. He is the most amazing person I have ever known. I am proud to call him my husband and I love him more than anything.
But Aj and I are not the only ones in our family that have been through this life, and we want to recognize the many relatives and people close to us that are "our" veterans. These are the real faces of people making sacrifices and they are our family. We both love you all and thank-you ever so much.

My husband, I love you. I love you so much. You're my hero. And I am proud to be your wife.

 

My brother, in the Navy for 9 years. 2 Deployments to Iraq, many overseas trips, and helped w/ the Tsunami.

My Uncle Richard Frasure, he also was in the Navy. Love you Uncle Richard!

My Uncle Bill and Aunt Joan, were in the Air Force together, toured Germany, and visited the Land of Sand.

Aj's dad and my father-in-law, Anthony Kelly was in the Army and went to many places.

Charlie (Chuck) Butcher, Aj's younger cousin, currently serving in the Marines. Hoorah! 

 And Grandpa McCormack (Aj's Grandpa) flew as a test pilot in the airforce. :)

Also, I don't have pictures, but these people who are still amazingly important, and served in the military:

My Grandpa Milton Scott, Great-Grandpa Gooch, Uncle Bob, Cousin Lenn, and Great Uncle George Silva.

Also, Aj and I want to give a shout out to our many friends that are in the military or have been that we love so much. Thank you!!

Please everyone, I lead a Happy Veterans Day life, but for those who don't, give us at least a Happy Veterans Day- day, and tell those you know and those you don't, thank you.

Best Play EVER!!

I saw this today, and I could watch it a million times. This is the coolest play ever. Kudos to the Coach for thinking of it, and double kudos for the kids who pulled it off brilliantly!!




I think the Packers could have pulled this off against the Cowboys on Sunday Night. Hahahahahaha!
Love you babe!! ;-)

A Societal Taboo?? Excuse me??

Ok- here is it. Aj and I no longer drink alcohol. We haven't for a while now. Aj decided at the end of March that he was giving up alcohol completely for a multitude of reasons, and I decided to follow his lead. We aren't against people who do drink and it doesn't bother us to be around people drinking. We just choose not to any longer. We have both had our fair share of consumption in the past and we're good. It's really not a big deal. At least, I didn't think it would be. But everyone else seems to have this giant issue with it. I really don't understand it.

We have been around family members that tried to insist Aj drink. At one point, putting a beer in his hand and having other family members cheer for it. (Aj didn't drink it.) This wasn't at a bar, but just at a family gathering. We have since then, had friends that have insisted that he can't be from Texas and not drink, or be a real man and not drink. Let me assure you, Aj is not shy. He isn't one of those people who needs a few drinks to loosen up. So people weren't trying to get him to drink in order for him to come out of his shell. He is the life of the party with or without alcohol. So, this constant nagging and pushing is not just annoying and frustrating.. It's also confusing! What in the world is such a big deal?

I have received a different type of response. When I have explained to people that I don't drink, instead of individuals trying to push it on me, the majority of the time, they find it necessary to tell me why it is that they do drink. As if they are defending themselves. Also they find the need to always explain to me that they "aren't big drinkers". I then have to explain to them that, no, I don't mind that they drink and it doesn't bother me. (This said, Aj and I aren't going to have alcohol in our apartment, but that's for a different reason, not because we are against others drinking). On the other hand, recently I told an individual that I would love to come to her house gathering. As we talked about it, she started telling me about the many alcoholic drinks she would be making, I just let her know I didn't drink. She looked at me and said, "Well, you're no fun." Mind you, this was after we had been laughing our rear ends off the entirety of book club, no alcohol required. I told her I would still love to come, and she just said, "Cool." 

(This is also an interesting look at how people treat men and women differently when they decide not to drink. With Aj being treated like a freak and less of a man because he won't drink and I mainly being treated like a "prissy" and uptight woman who people are scared to offend. Also, it's frustrating how people assume that I am being the controlling wife and forcing Aj not to drink. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. Aj is a remarkable man, and he made the decision on his own. I am following his amazing example, and not the other way around.)

Now, I can't say this has been everyone's response. Some people have treated it the same way that we feel about it. No big deal. They offer Aj and/or I alcohol, we say we don't drink, and they say, "Ok, we have soda too.." and that's the only time it's even brought up. No big deal. Frustratingly, this has become the exception and not the rule.

So let me ask all of you, because I know that we have friends and family, who not only were there when different parts of this post occurred, but also because there is such a broad spectrum of individuals who follow along with Aj and I. Some of you don't drink at all and never have, others are still full fledged proud drinkers, and others are occasional drinkers. Different backgrounds and different places in your lives. Explain this to us please. What in the world is the big deal about a couple that decides not to drink alcohol anymore? Why is it a social taboo to say, "No thanks, I don't drink?"

November!!! Need I say more?

Our Decorated Door

That's right, it's November. One more month down!! Hollah!! Raise the roof!! And Woot Woot!! (That's me trying to get psyched up, how's it working for you?) I was so very excited about October, and what a long month it turned out to be. But it now has a giant red X through it and we're starting the next one.
With the end of  October brings Halloween. I love Halloween. I think it's a wonderfully fun holiday that doesn't bring the stress and "obligations" of Thanksgiving and Christmas. (If you want to complain to me about how our society has taken a secular tradition and turned it into a money making scheme to sell candy, you can suck an egg. Cause really, who cares? Who is it hurting? That's a whole other philosophical debate for later..)

This year, obviously Aj was gone. Him and I both like the fun of dressing up and I wasn't too keen on sitting in my living in a costume by myself, so poor Blitz was forced to instead. I decided, for his namesake, and the fact that Halloween fell on NFL Sunday this year, Blitz dressed up as a football linebacker. The poor boy was so miserable in his costume, but I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes and so I deemed it worth it. Plus, he had the satisfaction of tearing it off and ripping it into shreds on my living room floor. Which, if dogs get pent up aggression, I'm sure would have alleviated all of it.

Faith and Blitz at her Halloween/ B-Day Party

This blog update is more to share pictures with you that sums up our month of October as best as we can. Blitz's first Halloween, his giant bone that he ate in four days, the Halloween Birthday party, Aj's crazy hours and sleep schedule.. Football football football! My family in Idaho also sent me some pictures of my nephew Jed riding his little four wheeler around with his dad (my brother). I'm including these pictures as well because they are fun too. Love you all!! We're getting there!

Blitz played football with the guys

Blitz in full costume.. With Helmet!! Love it!!! Lol

Blitz with his giant bone that I bought him. This lasted only four days. *Sigh*

Aj had a rough month at work. Apparently he learned a lot about multi-tasking? I don't know. I decided not to ask about this one. :)











My nephew Jed having a blast on the mini four-wheeler. He's so adorable. When Aj and I were there they would throw their hands in the air together and say, "Touchdown!"

 

My brother on his "big boy" four wheeler with his little man Jed. Like father like son. Bobby and I use to race the riding lawn mowers down the drive way.