Positive Patti Fail

If it isn't obvious by now, I haven't been doing Positive Patti since Tuesday. I have to say that the endeavor seemed like a much better idea on Friday night when I didn't have an early morning wake-up for work outs. The rest of the week I would have had to get home from my day around 5 pm and then change into a new outfit right in time for dinner. This became less and less appealing for me and I finally just decided, screw it. But, I cannot say that the effort was a total fail. I did come to a couple of conclusions:

First, I do not like dressing in a manner that brings more male attention onto myself. My outfit on Tuesday, with the boots and dress, got a lot more leering looks and even a honk, then any other outfit. I found that annoying. Second, I like my style. I like my workout clothes and my jeans/t-shirt combos. Sometimes I wear skirts or dresses, but for the most part I am pretty casual. I do love high fashion, and maybe if I have a function or vacation where it is warranted I will give it another shot, but I am not the girl that tries to incorporate it into her daily life. And finally, I still always felt better, more alert, and a little more peppy when I took extra time in my appearance then when I didn't. I usually lose the makeup and forget the hair when I am at the gym or training, but when I had it I noticed my confidence level was higher and I did feel better. So good deal.

AJ & I are still recovering from September. But we both love the fall and are getting the pep back into our step. :) Time heals all things, especially when pumpkin cinnamon candles are on the shelves again.

What is "Cheating?"

The other night I was reading an article in a magazine regarding infidelity in America (which is not as bad as the media and society wants you to believe) and it had a quiz. The questions were regarding what you considered cheating or what was ok or not ok. I took it and then gave the quiz to AJ. Him and I were not surprisingly on the exact same page when it came to the topic, but when I looked at the statistical answers to the questions, we seemed to be very conservative on the topic. That led me to wonder, what do most couples consider "ok" behavior in their partner. So, let me ask you the following:

Is flirting ok? If so, when does it cross the line, if ever?

What are your rules when it comes to social media? Does facebook or twitter or other areas cause problems and why would it? How about texting?

Is it ok to dance with someone else at a club whom your partner doesn't know?

Is kissing or making out with another individual ok?

Do you think a married woman making out with another female is cheating? What about a married man and a male?

Does alcohol change or alter your beliefs on the topic at all? 

Do you believe in "emotionally" but not "physically" cheating?

What about pornography? Or topless bars? How about lap dances?

Like I said, AJ & I are both pretty conservative in our beliefs of what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This has nothing to do with insecurities on our part but everything to do with what we want in a relationship and believe a relationship or marriage should be. Since this is obviously different for everyone, I'm curious as to other peoples takes on the area. What are your feelings on the topic?

As far as AJ & my feelings, we answered the questions like this:

Flirting: Not cheating but neither one of us likes the idea of continuous flirting with one individual, especially when that flirting comes with implied intent. Also, we feel if you have to hide you are talking with someone, it's probably not ok (ie, texting, social media, etc.). 

Social Media: Neither one of us are big social media people but as I said above, if you feel you have to hide it, probably not good to do. AJ and I are open with everything. If I get a text message and am in the other room, AJ will often pick up the phone and read it out to me and vice versa. Same thing with e-mail, we have each other check our e-mails all the time for various things. We are completely open about things.

Dancing: This one isn't really applicable to AJ, since he doesn't like to dance, I'm the dancer. Sometimes I can get him to dance with me but he usually just likes to hang out. He doesn't consider me dancing with someone cheating although he gets uncomfortable about what the guy might do (groping and grinding) but this isn't really an issue with me either since I wouldn't feel comfortable dancing with some random guy I don't know anyway. 

Kissing of any kind is not ok but I have a funny story about that. Before I moved to Oklahoma, I had a good friend named Stevie (her real name). She became one of my closest friends. She is also a lesbian and prided herself on turning women. I was telling AJ about one of her stories and he jokingly said, "Tell Stevie I'm not above kicking a girls ass." Hahaha He was completely joking and wasn't actually upset or worried, but I always found that hilarious.

Alcohol: AJ & I don't drink, but if we did, it wouldn't change anything. 

Yes, we believe in emotionally cheating with someone. We believe it can be as damaging as physically cheating.

Pornography is a whole other topic. We don't consider it "cheating" but neither of us like it and don't like the idea of the other one leering lustily at naked individuals. Thankfully, it's never been either of our jam diggity, so has never been a problem. I know many marriages where this has been a big issue because of disagreements on the topic though. As far as topless bars and such, there is a fine line for the both of us. If one of us went to say, a bachelor or bachelorrette party and this type of thing was involved it wouldn't be a big deal. But going to an institution like this regularly and/or paying other women or men to turn us on is not ok. Also if  another chick tried to give my husband a lap dance if he said no, I might have to beat a chick up. Just saying. ;-) Lol

So, there you have it. AJ & my stance on all the topics. Obviously you don't have to address every question, but do you have any strong thoughts on the subject? Or on one area in particular? Do your idea differ from AJ & mine? I'm curious to hear from you!

I've always considered myself a Nerd!

I LOVE this! Every time I look at it I notice something else amusing!

Source.

But I feel this is slightly tilted towards Geeks? Maybe the maker considers himself a Geek. lol

Positive Pattis 2 & 3!

Ok- quick confession- Saturday night AJ & I stayed up really, really late watching Lord of the Rings and didn't wake up until noon on Sunday. Fifteen minutes before kickoff of the first game! So, needless to say, Sunday was spent in my pajamas. But I have done my Positive Patti for the last two days!

Monday- I had to wear a Packers jersey, it's tradition! So I put on some punkish pants and wore flat etnies and did a puff on the top of my head.. Still not exactly breaking the mold on this outfit, but I'm burning these pants. First and last time I will ever wear them.

I really, really hate these pants! They were given to me from someone who couldn't fit into them.

Never been good at the puff.. This is my least "new" look I think.

Today I decided to go a little bit bigger and went country chic. Dress, big belt, pulled back hair, boots.. So far this is my most "different" look for me. 

So far this is my least "usual" look. Not exactly out of this world, but completely opposite of my day to day.

A pulled back (meaning lots of gel and hairspray) hair with minimal make up.

I have figured out that my wardrobe is very blase. I have only one real look in my closet and trying to find combinations that actually create anything has been more difficult than I anticipated. Which is sad, because like I said, I really do love high end fashion. There just isn't many places to wear it in Oklahoma, or Idaho. Now, when I lived in Germany, I had my share of different looking outfits, but those are long gone. I'll try hard to come up with something extra tomorrow though!!!

Amenorrhea

Amenorrhea:

Abnormal absence or suppression of menstruation

Apparently this is what I have. The doctor said my ultra sound and blood tests all looked perfectly fine, which is good. She also said that amenorrhea is not uncommon and can last for up to six months. Causes for amenorrhea vary from stress, to eating habits, hormone fluctuations, or even "unknown." What happens is that your body, for whichever reason, does not ovulate and because it never releases an egg, it also is never triggered to release progesterone to flush out that egg and start your cycle.

So, now what? I asked her. 

She told me that if AJ & I are still planning on continuing to try and get pregnant, we just wait until my body catches up with itself and my cycles start normally. If we aren't, she gives me a prescription of progesterone to take for 10 days which should trigger my body to get back on track. Afterwards, I resume my preferred birth control method. 

AJ & I decided that we are going to cease our attempt at getting pregnant for now because of a variety of reasons. First is that if we get pregnant now, the baby would be born after we get out of the military. This means that we would be pregnant when we transfer from military to civilian insurance. Civilian insurance considers pregnancy a preexisting condition and wouldn't cover the pregnant. Also, since we are now so close to getting out, it would probably just be better to wait until we get settled down.

So, I took the 10 day prescription of progesterone and she put in a new prescription for birth control and I left. 

3 months and one good doctor later, lets hope this is finally my answer. A non-answer of sorts.

The First Positive Patti

Day one of my getting back in touch with Positive Patti and I am not going to lie, I'm a little disappointed in myself. As I was getting my outfit together, I was thinking to myself, "I'm starting this transformation week out right!" I put on jeans, my white under armor shirt, then my teal tube top dress, black lace top and tied it with the dress's tie. How rock-boho of me! I guess that goes to show how out of touch I am with my high fashion side. This week should be good for me. Maybe my next few transformations will actually look like, well, transformations. But, from my normal jeans and t-shirts, this was a start for me. I'm excited about this week! I really believe its going to help get my pep back!! It already has a bit. 

PS: I won't get the results from my ultra-sound until next week. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for all your comments and concerns! I am looking into all possibilities so I genuinely appreciate your help.

So, transformation number one:

The left side.

My make-up and the front of my hair.

My "Rock-Boho" look. haha

The right side of my hair.

Transformation

The last few weeks for AJ & I have been really stressful and at times, absolutely terrible.. AJ & I are actually very positive people but lately, not so much. In the words of my mother, we have become Debbi & David Downer instead of our usual Positive Patti & Paul and it's time to go back to our peppy selves. 

AJ does this in his own way, usually by taking his team to the Superbowl and winning on the new Madden and also by kicking some trash at Fantasy Football. Me, I go the super girlie route and change my hair and spiff up my look (as you may have seen in my completely failed hair attempt recently). And believe it or not, I love fashion!! Especially high fashion. Sooooo... 

In an attempt to go from Debbi Downer to Positive Patti, I am going to go a little more funky and eccentric for the next few days. (This pick me up pattern usually lasts one or two weeks and then I normally go back to my jeans and t-shirts but the positive vibes from my change up stay for a long time. :) )

First step was going back to the salon and getting my dark and dreadful hair cut changed to something more light and spunky. This is what I ended up with:

Next, I went online and researched high fashion short hair styles:

Then I went and browsed some of my favorite fashion looks. I love the different looks and feels that just what you wear can give you.. Like the following:

SO.. I have decided to try a whole new look every day this upcoming week, starting tomorrow. Totally different hair, style, accessories, etc. and get my Positive Patti back. Sometimes being a trainer is a little tough, cause the closest I get to fashion and dress up is a new sports bra and spiffy yoga pants but this week I am excited about this and am going to make a real effort. I am going to document my different look every day and also put a blurb about how it makes me feel and how my day goes with each. Wish me well and here's looking to Positive Patti!

Health Update

Most of you are aware that I have been completely confused about what is going on with my body. I have been sick quite a bit lately and my last monthly cycle was June 29th, yet all pregnancy tests have come up negative (including two separate blood tests from the Dr's office). 

Last week (the 12th) I went in to the doctor to figure out what in the world is going on. She told me point blank that she has no idea. She did a pelvic exam and took eight vials of blood for testing. She did a thyroid test, multiple different hormone tests, and another pregnancy test. Every single test came up normal and the pregnancy test came out negative.. Again. They scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow evening, we'll see if anything comes up then. I will keep you posted on the results.

After seeing some of the pictures of the last week, I look dreadful. Bloated and puffy. I knew I had been feeling that way for the past month or more, but didn't realize how much I looked that way too. 

Anyone out there experienced or know anyone that has experienced what I am going through at the moment? No cycle for going on three months. Only the past month has been particularly stressful. Negative pregnancy tests continuously. No thyroid disorder, PCOS, or the like. I've been sick for the past few weeks and I am getting so terribly frustrated.

And the 3rd..

Last week I wrote a post regarding things coming in threes and that at least two terrible things happened.. Well, the evening of the 13th, the day after my Aunt passed away, AJ's Grandfather LG  passed away unexpectedly. We spent the past week in Texas to be with family and attend the funeral. It was one of the most difficult weeks AJ and I have been through, but it's over and we are back. I'll be posting more updates but I just wanted to let everyone know where we have been and what has been going on. 

Thanks for your patients everyone. It's good to be home again. 

Rest In Peace Grandpa LG

Peacefully At Rest.

My Aunt Laura passed away yesterday evening. I, once again, am not going to be able to make it home. The military will not grant AJ the leave that we need to make it there. 

My Aunt Laura was taken too young, too early. She was amazing at crafts and needle point, a terrific bowling partner to my mom, had a contagious laugh, and timeless spirit. She is going to be missed by so many.

I love you Aunt Laura. Rest peacefully.

To my Uncle Bill, I'm so sorry I cannot be there to give you a hug right now. I don't have the words. Know that you are loved. Know that so many people are here for you. AJ & I will be in Idaho soon. Till then, we love you. Always.

*These pictures were taken at the 2005 Jensen Family Reunion. Although they aren't the sharpest and maybe "best" pictures, they were taken during what my Aunt Laura described as one of her favorite times and best memories.  May she relive this time forever more.

Oh hai-r no!

I've been sick a lot lately and as such, I've been feeling pretty blah about myself. Bloated, sick, and gross. That's how I feel all the time. I've started to get into a funk (thank goodness my doctors appointment is finally this Monday). I don't know about other women (or maybe men) out there but when I really start feeling down on myself and gross, going in for a new and upgraded hair do can make me feel like a whole new woman. So today I went in and got it done.

I have done a ton of things with my hair and for the most part, have liked almost everything. This time though, I hate it. I mean I really hate it. For the first time in my life I can understand why girls say they went home and cried after a bad hair job. Especially when I was getting it done to make me feel better! Not only did the girl do a disastrous job on the cut but the color is dreadful. Not much I can do about it now but live with it. AJ says he likes it. Course when I said to him, "There is a difference between not really caring and actually liking it. Do you actually like it?", he just stared at me blankly and then gave me a kiss. So who knows what that means.

I've always been way to polite and nice to tell someone I thought they did a bad job on my hair. I have never been able to get myself to say that. I have had bad hair cuts and times where I thought they could have spent more time on certain areas, but never said anything before. Even now, when I think it is dreadful, I didn't say anything. Do you say anything? What do you do if the person does a bad job or you hate it? How do you politely tell someone that has spent the past two hours on your hair, "This is not what I wanted." ?

Without further ado.. The evidence. I tried my best to make the cut and color look nice in the pictures, I even redid my makeup and forced myself to smile. 

Before:

And After.. Ugh. :(

The front. Excuse the bug eyes.. They were in all the pictures for some reason.

 

Notice the TERRIBLE "layers". What is that??

 

 

And the side. The other side always lays in those weird triangle piece forms. I don't know why. Ugh.

 **Sigh**

Ah yes, the memories..

So most people know that I don't do Facebook anymore but I did for a while and I got pretty into it too. So when I came across this infographic, it made me laugh pretty dang hard! I am posting this for my Facebook friends and family to read and enjoy! I'm having trouble picking out my favorite! It's been a while! So those of you who read this, who do, do the Facebook thing, what one is your favorite?

Source.

Friday night, I added 20 new friends.

Growing up I remember when the original Nintendo came out. I also remember my dad giving it to us for Christmas. I couldn't believe how REAL it looked, that it was in color and that I could go horizontally and vertically (though not in the vocabulary I'm sure). It was amazing. My brother and I sat in front of our ridiculously small tv and played that gaming system until we had blisters that day. And Dad was there with us. Sitting on the floor taking his turn. When we played the new racing game (I can't remember what it was called), Dad kept commenting on how amazing it was that as the time went on in the game, the background color changed to show that the sun had gone down. It was freaking sweet.

That was what video games were when I was small. We had one tv that sat in our living room, so when we played, it was a family event and it most certainly wasn't an every day affair. Later on in life, we got the amazing Super NES for Christmas. At this time, we had a tv in the upstairs as well as in the livingroom and he and I could play it on there. Since he and I had to buy all our games, we saved our allowance and pooled it together to buy the best graphics game available: Star Fox. Even then, video games were not a constant. It was usually a rainy day or night time affair.

I guess what I am trying to say is that video games were amazing and we did play them growing up but TV, video games and especially computers, were not a big part of my childhood and they especially weren't what the adults did. I'm so annoyed with society now I could puke. Friends don't get together anymore and hang out, they meet up online. They chat over Facebook or play Call of Duty over the internet. I get tired of hearing people say to their friends, "Get online after work and I'll beat your a** at some Halo." Why not, lets get together after work and hang out? Instead of calling to tell you something, they send a quick text. Ugh.

I see how parents spend all night long ignoring their kids in the back yard to play World of Warcraft or Farmville. Didn't it used to be the opposite? Weren't the kids the ones whining that they wanted to play the video games while the parents said to go play outside? Or what about every kid having their own tv, computer, and gaming system in their own bedroom so that the parents never have to see them? I feel like parents are doing everything they can not to be parents. I get annoyed when I see giant SUV's going down the road, and every kid has their own headphones and TV screen in front of them. What is so bad about interacting with your family? Talking with your children? I remember long road trips across country with my family. We played all sorts of games and talked so much. I learned a lot about my parents and family on those road trips and we enjoyed each other. Sure, there were times where my dad wanted to throw himself out the window, but that comes with being a parent on a three day trip.  =)

AJ & I have both decided that neither one of us thinks to our favorite memories as kids or as adults and remembers anything to do with technology. None of our best memories or best times come from having a screen in our face or a controller in our hands. Our favorite memories growing up were always the ones where our parents were actually involved with us. For me it was my dad, brother, and I playing monopoly almost every day when he got home from work for an entire summer. Or our many fishing and camping trips. Ones that happened almost every weekend. For AJ, it was when his dad would play ball with him outside or come watch his soccer games. As we got older, our favorite memories always involve going somewhere and doing something with friends and family. I have never regretted not playing a video game or watching a movie instead of going somewhere and doing something active. But many times it is the other way around.  I want to interact with and have a relationship with my children, my family, and my friends. I want to have memories that make me smile and that I can laugh about with all of them. I won't look back in the end and  wish that I had more friends on facebook or that I finished building that mansion on Fronterville or whatever game, but I will look back and think, "I should have spent more time with the ones I love." Technology is taking that away. Its so sad to me. It really is.

One.... two....

I've been hearing the phrase "things come in threes" a lot lately and I guess I can add to that sentiment.

First of all, I am still sick. I went home early yesterday (which I HATE to do!) and almost had to call AJ to pick me up. For a little while I got so dizzy I honestly thought I was going to faint. (Yes, I ate yesterday and drank plenty of water). I have still been getting slight cramps constantly and feel sick from time to time. I'm also void of any extra energy. No monthly cycle as of yet (I've now missed two cycles in a row) and all pregnancy tests are still showing negative. I have set up a doctors appointment but the quickest they will get me in is this up coming Monday. For those of you who want to tell me that "stress can do that", I know. But I haven't been stressed except for the last two weeks, and even the past two weeks have been nothing compared to some of the things I went through when AJ was deployed. Plus, despite hormonal break downs from time to time, I have always done fairly well when managing my stress. But, we shall see I guess. 

Then I got a call from my dad. My Aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer last week. She is a diabetic and they previously thought that her health problems were complications with that until finally discovering the colon cancer that had been slowly taking over her body. She has literally days to live. It is very sudden and no one is quite prepared. This is my father's first sibling to pass away and he doesn't quite know how to take it. She is only a few years older than he is, and both of them are in their 50's. Too young. AJ and I are going to do what we can to go up and be there for my family. Today is my father's birthday.

We also have another slightly less intense health scare in my immediate family, but due to its nature and this individual being pretty private, I won't go into detail. Needless to saw, even though the doctors say its probably nothing, I will still be on pins and needles until that is confirmed.

So I apologize for not being the regular blogger as of late. There has been a lot going on. Hopefully we have completed our three and can now be done for the year.

Draft Days.. My beautiful team... (Fantasy Football)

Last night we had our fantasy football draft. Me, AJ, & nine other guys met at the party room of pizza hut and spent a little over two hours drafting our players. I had a relatively good time except for one particular guy that I have never been able to stand sitting right across from me. He is the type of person who will say and do anything just to tick you off, as loudly as possible, for two straight hours. Me being the only girl there, he zeroed in on me and was loudly proclaiming what an idiot I was for my draft picks the entire time. Other than that... it was a good time.

We determined our draft order by drawing from a hat, but this is my favorite way to determine it:

I got the ninth round pick, in a ten man league. Ewww. I was pretty bummed.. But after two and a half hours.. My team beautifully came out looking like this:

Peyton Manning          QB
Cam Newton              QB
Arian Foster                RB
Chris Johnson              RB
Darren McFadden       RB LaDainian Tomlinson   RB
Santonio Holmes         WR
James Jones                WR
Antonio Brown            WR Austin Collie                WR Lee Evans                   WR Roy Williams               WR Heath Miller                 TE
Dustin Keller                TE
Dan Carpenter              K
Houston Texans            DEF
Isn't that a thing of beauty?  At the ninth round pick? It's tear inducing. At least I thought so.. Until I saw my husbands team.. He was seventh round draft pick...  And this is his team...
Tony Romo                   QB Ryan Fitzpatrick            QB Rashard Mendenhall      RB LeGarrette Blount          RB Tim Hightower               RB Ray Rice                        RB Matt Forte                     RB Dwayne Bowe               WR Calvin Johnson               WR Brandon Marshall           WR Braylon Edwards            WR Jermaine Gresham           TE Jermichael Finley             TE Robbie Gould                  K Dallas Cowboys              Def Baltimore Ravens            Def He has a freaking scary team. Not only does he have star RB's but star WR's as well. My only hope is that my better QB's and sleeper WR's come out in full force this year.. We are pretty much our main competition we have decided. =) For those of you still actually reading this post (and I'm assuming it's mainly other FFB players), this is how our league is set up.. QB- 1 RB- 2 WR- 3
TE- 1
Def- 1
K- 1
RB/WR/TE- 1 (flex position), And 6 players on the bench.  Woot woot! Happy fantasy days ahead everybody! Soooo excited!!