Just wait until you have children...

I hate that phrase. I absolutely hate it. 

I understand that I probably have quite a few surprises in store for me when AJ & I finally do put a car seat in and have a crib in the apartment. I get it.

But...

It does not mean that I will not fold my clothes in a very neat and specific way - once I have children.

It does not mean that I will be angry at a coach for being stern with his players - once I have children.

It does not mean that I will let my house be disgustingly trashed- once I have children.

It does not mean that I will stop taking care of my body or mind- once I have children.

It does not mean that I will be in a forever bad mood- once I have children.

It does not mean that I will agree or disagree with whatever form or non-form of disciplinary action you instigate- once I have children.

It does not mean that I will constantly argue with my spouse- once I have children. 

It does not mean I will become less patient, less understanding, or less caring- once I have children.

It does not mean I will rely on fast food or take out every night- once I have children.

It does not mean that I understand less, you understand more, or anything else.

I understand I have a lot to learn when I become a parent. I truly do. What that does not mean, is that I am inevitably going to agree with what you do or how you do it. 

My mother raised 3 kids, has always had a full time job, and kept our house neat and tidy. She also is the one that taught me how to fold clothes in a specific and neat way because she insisted it be done this way. As a family, we went to McDonald's every other Friday (Payday Friday!) and the rest of the time my mother cooked dinner- every night. Both of my parents were strict with us as children and we were not allowed to throw tantrums or fits to get what we wanted.

Not that my parents were perfect, but that is how I was raised. Were you raised differently? Do you raise your children differently? Maybe this means just because people have children does not automatically mean they are going to do things or believe things the same way.

So please, do not use this as an argument or as a way to settle a discussion. If I do things differently or feel a certain way contrary to yourself, I will not automatically switch to your ways because I have children. I do not know where my priorities will change or how I will end up adapting, and neither do you.

The next time you see me folding clothes neatly, finding a very frustrated soccer coach amusing, or discuss how I don't like going out to eat much (among many, many, many other things), do not utter the phrase to me:

Just wait until you have children...

It is not an instant argument winner or mind changer. 

Just let me have my feelings and ways of doing things. If you don't agree, just chalk it up to us being different people and not because I don't currently have a mini-me. 

Thank-you.

Scammed!!

Oh-me-oh-my... 

We live in an apartment complex and have people come and knock on our door to sell stuff frequently. I hate it. AJ is such a huge softy that he can't say no. I on the other hand have no problem saying no. This has been a topic of conversation many times in our household. I have asked him to please not buy anything from a door salesman because a) whatever they have, we do not need and b) I don't want to get scammed by a creepy salesman.

Well last night we had a knock on our door. AJ answered it and went outside to talk with whoever it was. I assumed it was a friend of his. A few minutes later, he walked in followed by a young charismatic man. I wasn't quite sure what was going on. 

To make a long story short, AJ purchased a magazine subscription from this kid (for $60.00!!) . As soon as he was back out the door, I immediately googled the "business" he said he worked for:

Midwest Circulation LLC

In the first few things that come up on google:

Midwest Circulation LLC Magazines BEWARE - Topix

Magazine Scams And Rip Offs

Is it a scam?: Door to Door Magazine sales is a dangerous scam

When I clicked on the topics and read the conversations regarding the company it made me feel even worse...

"These idiots prey on the military. They cane to my town and scammed my husband and several of his friends out of several hundred dollars. We found Out it was a sam and went looking for them te next day. Even though we live in a city we had many guys on the case cannot several different areas. We ended up catching one of their associates (used a "sting operation") and got him arrested. These are low life criminals and they all gave us the same line of bullshit... How they were home less before and didn't have food or anything and the company saved them. They could win A trip to...(insert carribean location, they all used different ones). Said proceeds would be donated to a children's hospital. Also played up the military card..."

Although our guy didn't tell AJ he was homeless, he said that he was a college student saving money and looking to win a bonus or trip to Europe. He also said that we could donate the magazines to a children's hospital and that would get him more "points" for his trip/bonus.

If you go to the website... www.midwestcirculationllc.com - you get nothing. It's bogus.

I continued my research and read this:

"The field agents are encouraged to lie to the potential customer about if they get commission, they are told to say they are in a contest they are trying to win a educational vacation abroad, trying to win a scholarship, trying to win points, or selling magazines for charity." 

And also this:

"If you gave a check, cancel the check and then try to call to cancel the subscription. I know calling will be fruitless but at least make the attempt and keep a record of it. It would be best to close your checking account because the company and sales person now has your routing number and account number. It can be used to transfer money out of your account even if you cancel the check."

Last night AJ & I spent a long time on the phone. We called our bank to not only put a stop on the check, but to change our checking account number and bank information so that it could not be used. We then called the police and crime stoppers to report the individual. This morning I have also spent a lot of time on the phone because just yesterday I wrote a check to Idaho DMV for AJ's new Idaho vehicle registration that I had to make sure would still be allowed to clear. We are still working on changing our account information for our direct deposits and our online bills. Also we called and informed out apartment complex and they let us know (I had no idea!) that the complex actually has a huge no solicitation policy!! It's just been a huge mess.

A few things from this:

#1) AJ learned that I am always right. ;)

#2) We are putting a no solicitation sign on our door.

#3) As sad as it is, you have to be so careful. AJ would never do anything to harm anyone and so it's hard for him to think that anyone else would. 

#4) AJ learned again that I am always right. (Need to put that in twice.. lol =) )

Although it's a little embarrassing, I felt the need to blog about it today. It's important that everyone learn from our mistake. Fortunately for us, the only thing it cost us was some time and a 15$ check stop fee by our bank.. But it could have been so much worse, as there are reports of fraudulent door to door salesman using the "sale" as a chance to check out your home, learn info about you, and break into your home/apt later to rob you blind. (Which is why we informed not only the police but our complex. Luckily our apartment is in a central location and we have two huge dogs the kid last night didn't seem to be fond of.)

Here are some great pages for information regarding scams, what to look for, and how to handle the situations:

List of Scams

Federal Trade Commission: Magazine Scams

How to Identify Door to Door Scams

Scams/Fraud: Door to Door

Also, check out the Better Business Bureau website for any sales company trying to pry money out of you. I checked Midwest Circulation and they have an F. (Not surprisingly the address they gave for subscription cancellation doesn't even exist..)

Better Business Bureau

So yes. We were scammed last night. I really should have put a stop to it the second the kid walked in the door with AJ. It was a good learning experience for the both of us. It's definitely embarrassing for us both, which is AJ's biggest frustration. He feels completely stupid about the whole situation. He shouldn't because I have to say, the young man was good. If I didn't know about these scams and how they worked already, I probably would have just been annoyed that we paid that much for a children's magazine subscription and gone to bed. Charismatic, young, handsome, clean clothes and up-kept attire, nothing about him said scam.

So this is for all of you, to learn from our mistakes and experiences. 

What happened to giving thanks?

Thanksgiving is AJ's all time favorite holiday. He loves the food, the football, and the family that comes with it. Which is why it's so sad to him that this amazing holiday seems to get skipped over every year. Mainly because it isn't as marketable as the next holiday in line, Christmas. 

So I'm posting these comics in protest of skipping a very important holiday: the day where everyone gets together and remembers how much they have to be thankful for.

*Source

*Source

*Source

*Source


I LOVE Christmas. I love the colors, the smells, the food. I love the movies and the weather and the family.  From the decorations to the candy, I love it all. My mom was always so happy and sang Christmas songs, made the house look beautiful & smell good, and watched sappy movies with us all month. And most of all, I love remembering the gift God gave us of his Son (whether or not it's the actual date of his birth..)  So although Christmas may be my favorite holiday, please everyone, don't forget the importance of stopping, taking a look around, and just giving thanks. 

Sports & Morality

I'm not quite sure why the lines are blurry when combining these two. I don't know why when one is associated with the other, it's the exception to the rule. 

I love sports. I love all sports. It's not because I get an ego boost from being the girl who can pick the best fantasy sleepers or because I loved the cool jocks growing up. It's because I love the atmosphere. I love the camaraderie that only a sports game can bring. I love that the under dogs can rise above and come out ahead. I love the athleticism involved. I love having something to route for. I love that sports can quite literally bring worlds together in a peaceful manner. And I truly believe that sports, no matter which, are more mental than most people give them credit for, and damnet if I don't love a good mental challenger as much or more than a physical one.

What I don't love, is the dark side of sports. And I don't understand it. I don't understand why at The "U", a "booster" was caught trying to pay a girl to have an abortion without telling the football player father. I don't understand the concept of paying players from Universities to play, along with the full ride scholarships that so many other students didn't get. I am baffled at the thought that Michael Vick can torture and kill animals, be convicted, get out, and still be not only hired but looked to as a role model "because he is a tremendous athlete." I don't understand these things. I hope I never will. They aren't right. They don't make sense. It's not ok. 

The recent happenings at Penn State sicken me. The whole thing. Why would a graduate student see a coach acting inappropriately with a child and not report it to the police? In what world does a student only report something so horrible to their direct supervisor and leave it? Why does that supervisor in turn only report it to the president? Why is it, in that entire chain of events, that not one single person thought the appropriate person to call was the authorities and how did each of those people sleep at night?

Can someone also explain why the students of Penn State rallied together to defend someone who potentially enabled the sexual abuse of young children for years? Because he's your beloved football coach? Because he won a lot of games? Where is your justification? It's disgusting. 

I have been thinking about blogging regarding this for a while now. I just honestly don't know what to say. Just  a few days ago I blogged about the dog Sparky that I couldn't help but foster (whom now has a permanent and wonderful home, just not with us). In that blog I wrote that I thought the world would be a better place if everyone just cared a little bit more. Less than a week later, students are gathering by the thousands to protest the firing of a man that allowed child abuse to continue, because he didn't want to report claims he wasn't sure of. It hurts my heart. I don't get it. 

I love sports. I do. But this part, the part where a game- because no matter how you look at a sport, the money, the fans, the people, in the end it really is just a game- is above the basic fundamental of humanity and morality, protecting our children, is incomprehensible. 

Penn State- You should be ashamed of yourself. The students who protested should be ashamed. The many, many people who did not report the behavior, no matter how "unsure" you were of what you heard or saw. And the program, for covering it up for so long. This wasn't about a game anymore, this was about people's lives. Children's lives. You are a disgrace not just to sports, but to the essence of what it is to be a human being in our society. Don't even try to get me to understand where you were coming from because I promise, I never will.

Futbol v. Football

In true Kelly Stadium fashion, and a tradition I am planning on beginning from here on out- every NFL Sunday I am going to post a sports related blog. Today, it's actually an infographic on Futbol (or as we know it here in the States, soccer) vs Football. 

Some things I would like to point out are the salaries for players v.s.the amount the teams earn. American Football is actually a very lucrative (see also economy enhancing) business compared with Futbol, yet the salaries don't really reflect that distinction. This was especially interesting to me because a lot of individuals I know that hate football, like soccer, and comment on how much money football players make and how silly it is. (This is a discussion for another post.)

Lastly, look at how teams are decided in futbol vs football. It seems to me that soccer clubs are built based on who has the most money has the best team, whereas football has to grow their team in a system built for evening the odds. Especially when you consider the NFL football team salary caps.

Since soccer and football are both passions of mine, I found this infographic interesting. Maybe we can all learn a little something more, even if you aren't exactly the sports type.

Via Confused.com

The Modern Relationship

Relationships have changed a lot just in the past ten years. It all started with chat rooms (am I the only one that remembers the beginning of chat rooms?), then texting, and now the supreme changer of facebook and iphones. 

I found these comics today and I think they are brilliant! Hope they put a smile on your face, and don't forget to thank a Veteran tomorrow! 

*Source

* Source

* Source

*Source

*Source

*Source

This one really isn't the same topic, but I couldn't resist...

Drinking and the Holidays

For those of you who are regulars, you probably know that AJ & I aren't drinkers. It's not a religious or even a moral thing, it's because AJ had a lot of problems because of alcohol. One of which nearly cost him his life. He woke up in intensive care after being beaten almost to death after another night of drinking. He was told that if he would have taken just two more blows to the head, he would never have woken up. It was still 2 years after that incident that he finally decided enough was enough, and he quit cold turkey. He hasn't drank in over a year and a half. I don't drink to support him. I've never needed alcohol to have a good time and never really drank much anyway, so quitting wasn't a big deal for me. I have to say, our lives changed completely.

* Source

At first it was pretty hard. We used to hang out with friends at clubs or bars, or go over to friend's houses for parties and such regularly. To avoid temptation, we didn't want to be in environments where drinking was the main form of socialization. This completely changed the people that hung out with us, or would even invite us over. It seemed that, unless there was alcohol, people didn't know how or want to know how, to hang out. Also, a lot of these same people would constantly try and talk AJ into drinking. Give him reasons and call him names. Question his man hood or treat him like a snob. We eventually weeded out our real friends from friends that were only bonded by the bottle and AJ relearned how to do things like fishing, playing X-Box, watch football, or just hang out with friends without alcohol being involved. (When an alcoholic quits drinking, it's the same as a smoker getting used to their morning coffee without a cigarette. All of these things trigger a desire to drink or a need to drink. You have to learn to do these things and not need alcohol).

The most frustrating part for me was that everyone assumed that I had forced AJ to quit drinking. That I was the reason that he had stopped. Because I wouldn't allow him to. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I never, not once, told AJ to quit drinking. AJ quit drinking because he didn't want the life that it gave him, he didn't want to live that way. And yes, he says that my coming into his life was a big part of that, but only because he wanted a happy family and didn't want his kids to be raised with him drinking. It bothered the crap out of me because I am sooooo ridiculously PROUD of him, and I feel like saying he is only doing it because of me takes away how phenomenal it is that he quit. He's doing it, not me. 

The reason that I bring this up, is that it's holiday season and as such, holiday party time. These parties are almost always accompanied by lots of drinking and alcohol. For example, AJ & I love Halloween and even dressed up this year, but we didn't go anywhere because the only "adult" Halloween parties around were big booze fests. Now please understand that AJ & I have nothing whatsoever against drinking. We think it's great that people can get together and socialize and have a few drinks. No problem. We just can't. Think of it as a major food allergy. Just one drink can have horrible consequences. AJ just happens to be addicted to the particular food group he is drastically allergic to, so we stay away from it. 

via Glamour.com

In my current issue of Glamour there is a great article called, "20 Things You Notice When Your Not Drinking." The article isn't available online, but AJ & I read it together and found it pretty funny and accurate based on our experiences. 

This prompted me to ask your opinion. Have you ever been the one not blitzed at the party? If so, do you notice anything different? What is your take on drinking and the holidays? Or just drinking at all? What if you had friends that didn't drink, would you hesitate to hang out with them as much? 

Feel free to be totally honest, I promise no feelings will be hurt or judgments made. I'm curious of others feelings on the topic.

Now that AJ & I have been away from it for so long, we don't really see the draw to it anymore. Course maybe we are just old fuddy duddys now, or maybe its because our experiences ended negatively too many times. 

Either way, I hope you have fun plans for this holiday season, whether you decide to celebrate with a holiday cocktail or sparkling cider! Tis the Season!