Divorce USA? Not really.

Well Brett Favre, thank you for our newest infidelity scandal. Once again, households are turning on their TV's to hear weeks of "who cheated on who and how" in the news. Sadly, this isn't a new phenomenon, and it seems like one scandal is barely out before the next scandal is in. That's when we hear all the statistics of the "high" divorce rate in America... Then the men bashers come on the tv and we hear how horrible men are and how they are almost certain to cheat and leave. The scum bags! Ugh. I get so tired of hearing this. So thank you Favre. And thank you media.
I am so annoyed with hearing some TV news anchor basically explaining to me that my marriage is doomed because my husband is "systematically" programed to cheat, and there is nothing I can do about it, that I had to send out a little blog about how this stuff is all a bunch of crap. And to take a line from Reading Rainbow, "Don't just take my word for it.."
Here is what is ACTUALLY going on:
The US Census Bureau reports that divorce rates are actually decreasing. In 1980 the divorce rate was 15.9, and has been decreasing with every Census since till we reach 10.9 in 2007. Of those, 17% were for the reason of infidelity. There aren't any hard statistics that show what percent of those were from the MEN cheating, and not the women
So, where in the world do all the crazy high stats come from?
Well, if you have ever taken a stats class (or were in debate for years), you learn that it's all in how you present the data.
For example, "RECORD NUMBER OF DIVORCES FOR 2007", could be the title, and the article can read, "Highest reported divorce rate on record for past decade. Divorces jumped up by 71% in past ten years. The United States is in an epidemic..." All the information in that last statement, is "technically" accurate, but here is what it isn't telling you:
The data described above isn't the national average, it's concerning the rate of divorce for the state of Oklahoma solely. Second, it also fails to mention, that in 1990 the divorce rate was actually still much higher than for 2007 (falling from 7.7 to 5.2). The comparison is from the year 2000, where the rate was 3.7. Finally, in giving you the percent increase instead of the actually percent, it is able to give you a higher number for shock value. The rate increased from 3.7 to 5.2, which isn't exactly a huge leap, but if you give the "percent increase", it makes it sound enormous (71%). (e.g. I have one blue dog out of every 1,000 white dogs. This year that number increased by 100%. I now have 2 blue dogs out of every 1,000).
The one statistic that we hear over and over again is that "half" of marriages end in divorce. But as the NY Times reports, "..one of the most commonly cited statistics about marriage is that half of marriages end in divorce. But that number reflects the expected lifetime divorce rate of people married in the 1970s." It goes on to say, "The story is different for more-recently married couples. A comparison of 10-year divorce rates among college-educated men married in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s shows that divorce is becoming less common..."
So why the all the publicity? Why is it we can't turn on our TV or open a magazine without hearing all about the cheating ways of men and women and the tragic way all of our marriages are going? It's called ratings. You may roll your eyes and it may make you sick, but how many of you clicked on that link about Brett Favre that showed the picture of the girl he was sending dirty messages too? Or how many of you tuned in to hear what his wife had to say about it all? It's gossip at its utmost. People love to hear the dirt on others and as long as we continue to click that link and turn up the volume on our TV, the news will continue to report things that way.

Brett Favre sent some dirty things to a cheerleader and we will be hearing about it for weeks and weeks. Kurt Warner (another All-Pro, Hall-of-Fame Quarterback) has been on Dancing with the Stars this last season. When doing the tango he felt uncomfortable because of the sexual style of dance, so he asked his wife to join him for a rehearsal and ensure that she was comfortable with him dancing like that before he would proceed (she told him yes). Kurt and Brenda (his wife) met in 1992 and have been married since 1997. When I watched this happen, I thought how cool it was. But it wasn't reported on the news, there weren't any articles or even a mention of it anywhere. In fact, had you not actually watched that episode of the show, you would have no idea that it happened. Two pro quarterbacks make two radically different decisions. The only one you hear about is the one that gets the ratings.
My marriage is going to last forever. There isn't a doubt in my mind. Thick or thin, good times and bad, Aj and I will be holding hands till the very end. A lot of us will. And I am really tired of society trying to make all of us doubt it.