What is "Cheating?"

The other night I was reading an article in a magazine regarding infidelity in America (which is not as bad as the media and society wants you to believe) and it had a quiz. The questions were regarding what you considered cheating or what was ok or not ok. I took it and then gave the quiz to AJ. Him and I were not surprisingly on the exact same page when it came to the topic, but when I looked at the statistical answers to the questions, we seemed to be very conservative on the topic. That led me to wonder, what do most couples consider "ok" behavior in their partner. So, let me ask you the following:

Is flirting ok? If so, when does it cross the line, if ever?

What are your rules when it comes to social media? Does facebook or twitter or other areas cause problems and why would it? How about texting?

Is it ok to dance with someone else at a club whom your partner doesn't know?

Is kissing or making out with another individual ok?

Do you think a married woman making out with another female is cheating? What about a married man and a male?

Does alcohol change or alter your beliefs on the topic at all? 

Do you believe in "emotionally" but not "physically" cheating?

What about pornography? Or topless bars? How about lap dances?

Like I said, AJ & I are both pretty conservative in our beliefs of what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This has nothing to do with insecurities on our part but everything to do with what we want in a relationship and believe a relationship or marriage should be. Since this is obviously different for everyone, I'm curious as to other peoples takes on the area. What are your feelings on the topic?

As far as AJ & my feelings, we answered the questions like this:

Flirting: Not cheating but neither one of us likes the idea of continuous flirting with one individual, especially when that flirting comes with implied intent. Also, we feel if you have to hide you are talking with someone, it's probably not ok (ie, texting, social media, etc.). 

Social Media: Neither one of us are big social media people but as I said above, if you feel you have to hide it, probably not good to do. AJ and I are open with everything. If I get a text message and am in the other room, AJ will often pick up the phone and read it out to me and vice versa. Same thing with e-mail, we have each other check our e-mails all the time for various things. We are completely open about things.

Dancing: This one isn't really applicable to AJ, since he doesn't like to dance, I'm the dancer. Sometimes I can get him to dance with me but he usually just likes to hang out. He doesn't consider me dancing with someone cheating although he gets uncomfortable about what the guy might do (groping and grinding) but this isn't really an issue with me either since I wouldn't feel comfortable dancing with some random guy I don't know anyway. 

Kissing of any kind is not ok but I have a funny story about that. Before I moved to Oklahoma, I had a good friend named Stevie (her real name). She became one of my closest friends. She is also a lesbian and prided herself on turning women. I was telling AJ about one of her stories and he jokingly said, "Tell Stevie I'm not above kicking a girls ass." Hahaha He was completely joking and wasn't actually upset or worried, but I always found that hilarious.

Alcohol: AJ & I don't drink, but if we did, it wouldn't change anything. 

Yes, we believe in emotionally cheating with someone. We believe it can be as damaging as physically cheating.

Pornography is a whole other topic. We don't consider it "cheating" but neither of us like it and don't like the idea of the other one leering lustily at naked individuals. Thankfully, it's never been either of our jam diggity, so has never been a problem. I know many marriages where this has been a big issue because of disagreements on the topic though. As far as topless bars and such, there is a fine line for the both of us. If one of us went to say, a bachelor or bachelorrette party and this type of thing was involved it wouldn't be a big deal. But going to an institution like this regularly and/or paying other women or men to turn us on is not ok. Also if  another chick tried to give my husband a lap dance if he said no, I might have to beat a chick up. Just saying. ;-) Lol

So, there you have it. AJ & my stance on all the topics. Obviously you don't have to address every question, but do you have any strong thoughts on the subject? Or on one area in particular? Do your idea differ from AJ & mine? I'm curious to hear from you!

I've always considered myself a Nerd!

I LOVE this! Every time I look at it I notice something else amusing!

Source.

But I feel this is slightly tilted towards Geeks? Maybe the maker considers himself a Geek. lol

Positive Pattis 2 & 3!

Ok- quick confession- Saturday night AJ & I stayed up really, really late watching Lord of the Rings and didn't wake up until noon on Sunday. Fifteen minutes before kickoff of the first game! So, needless to say, Sunday was spent in my pajamas. But I have done my Positive Patti for the last two days!

Monday- I had to wear a Packers jersey, it's tradition! So I put on some punkish pants and wore flat etnies and did a puff on the top of my head.. Still not exactly breaking the mold on this outfit, but I'm burning these pants. First and last time I will ever wear them.

I really, really hate these pants! They were given to me from someone who couldn't fit into them.

Never been good at the puff.. This is my least "new" look I think.

Today I decided to go a little bit bigger and went country chic. Dress, big belt, pulled back hair, boots.. So far this is my most "different" look for me. 

So far this is my least "usual" look. Not exactly out of this world, but completely opposite of my day to day.

A pulled back (meaning lots of gel and hairspray) hair with minimal make up.

I have figured out that my wardrobe is very blase. I have only one real look in my closet and trying to find combinations that actually create anything has been more difficult than I anticipated. Which is sad, because like I said, I really do love high end fashion. There just isn't many places to wear it in Oklahoma, or Idaho. Now, when I lived in Germany, I had my share of different looking outfits, but those are long gone. I'll try hard to come up with something extra tomorrow though!!!

Amenorrhea

Amenorrhea:

Abnormal absence or suppression of menstruation

Apparently this is what I have. The doctor said my ultra sound and blood tests all looked perfectly fine, which is good. She also said that amenorrhea is not uncommon and can last for up to six months. Causes for amenorrhea vary from stress, to eating habits, hormone fluctuations, or even "unknown." What happens is that your body, for whichever reason, does not ovulate and because it never releases an egg, it also is never triggered to release progesterone to flush out that egg and start your cycle.

So, now what? I asked her. 

She told me that if AJ & I are still planning on continuing to try and get pregnant, we just wait until my body catches up with itself and my cycles start normally. If we aren't, she gives me a prescription of progesterone to take for 10 days which should trigger my body to get back on track. Afterwards, I resume my preferred birth control method. 

AJ & I decided that we are going to cease our attempt at getting pregnant for now because of a variety of reasons. First is that if we get pregnant now, the baby would be born after we get out of the military. This means that we would be pregnant when we transfer from military to civilian insurance. Civilian insurance considers pregnancy a preexisting condition and wouldn't cover the pregnant. Also, since we are now so close to getting out, it would probably just be better to wait until we get settled down.

So, I took the 10 day prescription of progesterone and she put in a new prescription for birth control and I left. 

3 months and one good doctor later, lets hope this is finally my answer. A non-answer of sorts.

The First Positive Patti

Day one of my getting back in touch with Positive Patti and I am not going to lie, I'm a little disappointed in myself. As I was getting my outfit together, I was thinking to myself, "I'm starting this transformation week out right!" I put on jeans, my white under armor shirt, then my teal tube top dress, black lace top and tied it with the dress's tie. How rock-boho of me! I guess that goes to show how out of touch I am with my high fashion side. This week should be good for me. Maybe my next few transformations will actually look like, well, transformations. But, from my normal jeans and t-shirts, this was a start for me. I'm excited about this week! I really believe its going to help get my pep back!! It already has a bit. 

PS: I won't get the results from my ultra-sound until next week. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for all your comments and concerns! I am looking into all possibilities so I genuinely appreciate your help.

So, transformation number one:

The left side.

My make-up and the front of my hair.

My "Rock-Boho" look. haha

The right side of my hair.

Transformation

The last few weeks for AJ & I have been really stressful and at times, absolutely terrible.. AJ & I are actually very positive people but lately, not so much. In the words of my mother, we have become Debbi & David Downer instead of our usual Positive Patti & Paul and it's time to go back to our peppy selves. 

AJ does this in his own way, usually by taking his team to the Superbowl and winning on the new Madden and also by kicking some trash at Fantasy Football. Me, I go the super girlie route and change my hair and spiff up my look (as you may have seen in my completely failed hair attempt recently). And believe it or not, I love fashion!! Especially high fashion. Sooooo... 

In an attempt to go from Debbi Downer to Positive Patti, I am going to go a little more funky and eccentric for the next few days. (This pick me up pattern usually lasts one or two weeks and then I normally go back to my jeans and t-shirts but the positive vibes from my change up stay for a long time. :) )

First step was going back to the salon and getting my dark and dreadful hair cut changed to something more light and spunky. This is what I ended up with:

Next, I went online and researched high fashion short hair styles:

Then I went and browsed some of my favorite fashion looks. I love the different looks and feels that just what you wear can give you.. Like the following:

SO.. I have decided to try a whole new look every day this upcoming week, starting tomorrow. Totally different hair, style, accessories, etc. and get my Positive Patti back. Sometimes being a trainer is a little tough, cause the closest I get to fashion and dress up is a new sports bra and spiffy yoga pants but this week I am excited about this and am going to make a real effort. I am going to document my different look every day and also put a blurb about how it makes me feel and how my day goes with each. Wish me well and here's looking to Positive Patti!

Health Update

Most of you are aware that I have been completely confused about what is going on with my body. I have been sick quite a bit lately and my last monthly cycle was June 29th, yet all pregnancy tests have come up negative (including two separate blood tests from the Dr's office). 

Last week (the 12th) I went in to the doctor to figure out what in the world is going on. She told me point blank that she has no idea. She did a pelvic exam and took eight vials of blood for testing. She did a thyroid test, multiple different hormone tests, and another pregnancy test. Every single test came up normal and the pregnancy test came out negative.. Again. They scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow evening, we'll see if anything comes up then. I will keep you posted on the results.

After seeing some of the pictures of the last week, I look dreadful. Bloated and puffy. I knew I had been feeling that way for the past month or more, but didn't realize how much I looked that way too. 

Anyone out there experienced or know anyone that has experienced what I am going through at the moment? No cycle for going on three months. Only the past month has been particularly stressful. Negative pregnancy tests continuously. No thyroid disorder, PCOS, or the like. I've been sick for the past few weeks and I am getting so terribly frustrated.